


Musings on a Life That Never Was

by Swankyo0



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Study, F/F, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-11
Updated: 2010-08-11
Packaged: 2017-10-11 01:12:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/106634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swankyo0/pseuds/Swankyo0
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus remembers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Musings on a Life That Never Was

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as part of the multi-fandom RPG Polychromatic on LiveJournal.com. This takes place after a curse day in which Severus was turned into a teenager who had always been friends with the Marauders and Lilly. This was written between HBP and DH.

I can still remember. Everything. Memories of a life I never knew have been fighting through the memories I would much rather forget.

The Express that first year, being met with friendly faces and welcoming words. Remus Lupin coming to me after the sorting..._ It's alright, Severus. We're still mates. _

Facing down a pack of fifth year Slytherins... _Muggle lover... disgrace... your Grandfather would be ashamed..._ and to my utter surprise, James, Remus, and even Black, standing by me... _ Leave him alone... come on, Sev, its time for lunch... _

Letters I never received... _Pop says you can come to visit, too, Sev! Sirius and Remus will be here next week... can you make it? _  
Letters I never sent in return... _My Grandfather would never allow it...   
Tell him your studying potions with Slughorn... _

Spells I created, spells that were so often used against me, were instead used to protect me... _Not to worry, Snape. I'll let him down when he learns some manners...   
Sirius, he's turning blue. Let him down now, I think he's learned his lesson...   
Awe, you're no fun, Remus! _

Falling in love... _Lilly Evans is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen... _ having my heart broken... _I'm sorry, Severus. I already said I'd go with James... _and having friends to put it back together for me... _Oi, Snape! What about that bird? She's been eyeing you for weeks...   
Let it go, Black. I'm not going...   
Like hell you're not! _

Having someone to stop me from making the most horrendous of mistakes in my youth... _Severus, I will not allow you to bind yourself to that madman just to please your Grandfather! _  
Having another choice... _You'll stay with me over Winter Hols... _  
Being able to see how very wrong I had been... _Severus, dear! We've heard so much about you...   
Thank you for letting me stay here, Mrs. Evans...   
Oh, psh, Lilly talks of you as if you're family. You are welcome hear whenever. Now, would you be a dear and get that dish down for me... _

I can remember it all- as if it truly happened, as if that had been my life. But then, I look down and I see the scars of my past- the marring of my soul that will never wash away. It did not happen, it was not real. Just a trick of the City, meant to cause pain and anguish.

It is working.


End file.
